Apparently we'll never grow out of twank.

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Christians and Liars

It’s here.

Beginning 4/28, proceed to TWCS in order to reserve your copy.

Official summary:

When literature student Anastasia Steele is drafted to interview the successful young entrepreneur Christian Grey for her campus magazine, she finds him attractive, enigmatic and intimidating. Convinced their meeting went badly, she tries to put Grey out of her mind – until he happens to turn up at the out-of-town hardware store where she works part-time.

The unworldly, innocent Ana is shocked to realize she wants this man, and when he warns her to keep her distance it only makes her more desperate to get close to him. Unable to resist Ana’s quiet beauty, wit, and independent spirit, Grey admits he wants her – but on his own terms.

Shocked yet thrilled by Grey’s singular erotic tastes, Ana hesitates. For all the trappings of success – his multinational businesses, his vast wealth, his loving adoptive family – Grey is man tormented by demons and consumed by the need to control. When the couple embarks on a passionate, physical and daring affair, Ana learns more about her own dark desires, as well as the Christian Grey hidden away from public scrutiny.

Can their relationship transcend physical passion? Will Ana find it in herself to submit to the self-indulgent Master? And if she does, will she still love what she finds?

Erotic, amusing, and deeply moving, the Fifty Shades Trilogy is a tale that will obsess you, possess you, and stay with you forever.

We are excite. Are you excite? Show us your excite faces.


Who’s sorry now?

Jeez, ugaiz.

Since all of us are usually busy as fuck on the weekends, we had just decided to stop posting then. All of a sudden things go splodey.

First off, we were wrong about Krismom, and for that we apologize profusely. It turns out that TVM having exactly the same text as Whatever Makes You Happy wasn’t because she had the book open in front of her; she has complete eidetic memory.

(Believe it or not, this by itself wouldn’t have gotten a post because…wait for it…the horse was dead. So we did not take a screenshot and are relying on what ja6108 copy-pasted on ADF, assuming it wasn’t altered.)

There aren’t enough apologies in the world. I left the PM’s on for a while so people could vent- but that got scary. Fast.

I have no explanation – other than to say it was not done on purpose. I didn’t cut and paste or have the books out in front of me- and have the keystroke count and typos to show for it.

It’s a weird ass memory thing. I have a f*ed up ability to recount large amounts of useless information. Kind of like a photographic memory- it’s considered eidetic memory and most people think it’s unfounded or Asperger’s-ish. It’s not impressive enough to matter- It’s not related to intelligence or even useful. It’s mostly dates, text and random information that scares and impresses people when googled. Although I did get to meet Marilu Henner once. 😉 Most people don’t buy it anyway- kind of like my kid with Sensory Processing Disorder. 😦

I had posted (notice I didn’t say written) half the story before I heard a review on NPR about the book Still Alice- and realized It was the same book/story I read a year ago and was currently posting. I don’t want to ruin an apology with an excuse- so I’ll just say that if I could give you all the time back that you invested reading, I would.

I am so very sorry- my plagiarism penalty was losing all of you. The talent, the stories, the Twitter banter- are all sorely missed. I should have stuck to reading and reviewing- which is what all of you wonderful writers deserve.”

Think about what you’d do if you had the ability to recall whole books absolutely word for word. You could enter any profession you wanted. Count cards and make millions. Or you could go balls to the wall and copy a novel and change the names so it’s a Twilight fanfic.

Since then, Krismom has regretted telling us the truth:

There aren’t enough apologies in the world. I left the PM’s on for a while so people could vent- but that got scary. Fast.

After emailing with an ADF friend today, I realized I shouldn’t have tried to explain myself. It’s all excuses anyway- and nothing ruins an apology like an excuse. The memory thing wasn’t bullshit- but make no mistake I *knew* I was doing it. I didn’t mean to imply otherwise. For this and so very many other things, I am truly sorry.

I apologized profusely and repeatedly to my beta’s. I’m not consciously trying to cut off from the fandom- I’m just to ashamed to speak. I deserve any and all outrage- and accept the consequences of my stupidity.

My plagiarism penalty was losing all of you. The talent, the stories, the Twitter banter- are all sorely missed. I should have stuck to reading and reviewing- which is what all of you wonderful woman deserve.

I’m not apologizing to gain entry back into the fandom. I couldn’t/wouldn’t do that for all the Edward in the world.

Again, I suck and I’m sorry. I would give you back the time you spent reading and investing in the story if I could.

Allow us to also apologize to Ninapolitan, because she was right. Instead of tossing around crap theories all the time, just ask the person if you want the truth about something. They’re not going to lie, ffs:

Now that you’re feeling bad about yourself because you can’t even remember your own phone number half the time, let us point out that people who volunteer or donate regularly are happier people. Better to give than to receive, yakety yak. With that in mind, please consider helping to send the beloved RoseArcadia to ComicCon! The A/N attached to the end of Jadalulu‘s Fold Your Wings tells you why:

*Peeks out at you from finger sluts…err…slits*

Yes, your eyes do not deceive you. ‘Tis a cliffy. Feel free to flounce. I know how cruel they are. 🙂


We’re trying to get our girl RoseArcadia to Comic Con! She’s very shy about this subject and is prolly gonna string me up by mah butt cheeks for doing this-and for raving about her (she’s a rare form of modest), but it must be done. I’m not sure if you guys have had the pleasure of talking to her, but she is the epitome of what this fandom is about. She’s incredibly supportive and uplifting to countless authors. I know I can depend on her to give me an honest, straight forward opinion-sans any catty drama. And let’s be real. A RoseArcadia blinkie is right up there with a forehead kiss from Edward. I know I speak for more than just myself when I say that without her, the fandom wouldn’t be the same. I remember when I was strictly a reader with wistful fantasies about writing something of my own. When I finally worked up the nerve to post, Rose was the first person to embrace me. I cannot accurately describe to you the level of support she lends. Her faith in me isn’t repayable…BUT I’ll be damned if I don’t do my all to try.

Suzie55 and co. forced her to add a donate button to her blog. So, bbs, if you’re feeling so inclined…


And now…I run like hell and hide. She’s gonna kicketh my asseth.

Off in a dustcloud,


Even SR is promoting this worthy cause along with his/her usual plugs for Alex’s Lemonade Stand etc:

This isn’t a charity, but an opportunity to show our appreciation to RoseArcadia, who has designed blinkies and banners for so many writers. Send her to Comic Con. Donate at:

Girl has lots of friends in high places. We’re jealous. Two of us never heard of her until today, so this jealousy is particularly aggravating.

So, while we’re apologizing to everyone–krismom for not realizing she had “unfounded or Asperger’s-ish” total recall, Ninapolitan for posting theories without asking her first, and RoseArcadia for not knowing who she was until everyone started wanting to send her to ComicCon–let us not forget to apologize to Icy as well. Because just like this nonnie said, we’re just not creative enough to come up with a story like that and that’s why we thought it was a clusterfuck, not because it sucked or anything. We felt secure in our disdain because obviously if it were any good, Omnific would have snapped it up, right?

Right. Except it looks like TWCS beat them to it:

It’s so good already that they really don’t need to do much except print it out and glue it together. The first installment will be out at the end of May.

If you hurry up and apply for one of TWCS’s internships, you might get to witness the fascinating process firsthand.

And see? We thought we were too busy to twank on the weekends. But none of us has a publishing deal, so our attempt to look awesome failed. Damn Icy. She couldn’t do this on a Wednesday?

Laters, twanks.