twankharder

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Tag Archives: icy

Christians and Liars

It’s here.

Beginning 4/28, proceed to TWCS in order to reserve your copy.

Official summary:

When literature student Anastasia Steele is drafted to interview the successful young entrepreneur Christian Grey for her campus magazine, she finds him attractive, enigmatic and intimidating. Convinced their meeting went badly, she tries to put Grey out of her mind – until he happens to turn up at the out-of-town hardware store where she works part-time.

The unworldly, innocent Ana is shocked to realize she wants this man, and when he warns her to keep her distance it only makes her more desperate to get close to him. Unable to resist Ana’s quiet beauty, wit, and independent spirit, Grey admits he wants her – but on his own terms.

Shocked yet thrilled by Grey’s singular erotic tastes, Ana hesitates. For all the trappings of success – his multinational businesses, his vast wealth, his loving adoptive family – Grey is man tormented by demons and consumed by the need to control. When the couple embarks on a passionate, physical and daring affair, Ana learns more about her own dark desires, as well as the Christian Grey hidden away from public scrutiny.

Can their relationship transcend physical passion? Will Ana find it in herself to submit to the self-indulgent Master? And if she does, will she still love what she finds?

Erotic, amusing, and deeply moving, the Fifty Shades Trilogy is a tale that will obsess you, possess you, and stay with you forever.

We are excite. Are you excite? Show us your excite faces.

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Lesser…of two…evils…

For those who don’t know, after the news broke about MOTU, AngstGoddess tweeted several lines that she claimed were taken from gchats with Icy.

Okay, fandom. Ready? Lettuce play “Guess that chat log.”

“Well don’t tell anyone – I have visions of being interviewed by Time Magazine for revolutionizing publishing…”

“I have done it as a sort of exercise.. to see if I could … and I think I have proven that I can… I now want to capitalize on it…”

“I have to say I do not feel as passionately as you do about the fandom”

“it’s like the old groucho marx joke which I cant remember about not wanting to belong to a club that you’re a member of…”

even when you publish it on amazon, theres still gonna be negativity “true… but I’m sure it’s easier to take with a big fat paycheck LOL”

show them theres a person behind the penname and not just some lady sitting on a perch — “I like my perch…”

“I’m not sure I feel part of the community…”

“they’ve been able to read it in its entirety. And I even did the FGB thing.. which isn’t really for me cos I never, ever wanted to do [it]”

These are all quotes from two separate chats during April & July, with @Sqicedragon, during discussions about publishing motu.

So if you think she gives a crap about the very fandom that gave her popularity, I’m very sorry to say. You’ve been punked.

/blaze of glory. I’m out. Stop perpetuating arrogance. Give your kindness to people who won’t take advantage of it.

Icy responded that the tweets were taken out of context, and posted what she said was the full surrounding text on her website in order to provide that context. It’s since been taken down, but thanks to a nonnie, we have a copy for you.

Seems like a classic case of When elephants fight, only the grass suffers. What’s your opinion? Who’s the biggest loser here (besides us?)

Who’s sorry now?

Jeez, ugaiz.

Since all of us are usually busy as fuck on the weekends, we had just decided to stop posting then. All of a sudden things go splodey.

First off, we were wrong about Krismom, and for that we apologize profusely. It turns out that TVM having exactly the same text as Whatever Makes You Happy wasn’t because she had the book open in front of her; she has complete eidetic memory.

(Believe it or not, this by itself wouldn’t have gotten a post because…wait for it…the horse was dead. So we did not take a screenshot and are relying on what ja6108 copy-pasted on ADF, assuming it wasn’t altered.)

There aren’t enough apologies in the world. I left the PM’s on for a while so people could vent- but that got scary. Fast.

I have no explanation – other than to say it was not done on purpose. I didn’t cut and paste or have the books out in front of me- and have the keystroke count and typos to show for it.

It’s a weird ass memory thing. I have a f*ed up ability to recount large amounts of useless information. Kind of like a photographic memory- it’s considered eidetic memory and most people think it’s unfounded or Asperger’s-ish. It’s not impressive enough to matter- It’s not related to intelligence or even useful. It’s mostly dates, text and random information that scares and impresses people when googled. Although I did get to meet Marilu Henner once. 😉 Most people don’t buy it anyway- kind of like my kid with Sensory Processing Disorder. 😦

I had posted (notice I didn’t say written) half the story before I heard a review on NPR about the book Still Alice- and realized It was the same book/story I read a year ago and was currently posting. I don’t want to ruin an apology with an excuse- so I’ll just say that if I could give you all the time back that you invested reading, I would.

I am so very sorry- my plagiarism penalty was losing all of you. The talent, the stories, the Twitter banter- are all sorely missed. I should have stuck to reading and reviewing- which is what all of you wonderful writers deserve.”

Think about what you’d do if you had the ability to recall whole books absolutely word for word. You could enter any profession you wanted. Count cards and make millions. Or you could go balls to the wall and copy a novel and change the names so it’s a Twilight fanfic.

Since then, Krismom has regretted telling us the truth:

There aren’t enough apologies in the world. I left the PM’s on for a while so people could vent- but that got scary. Fast.

After emailing with an ADF friend today, I realized I shouldn’t have tried to explain myself. It’s all excuses anyway- and nothing ruins an apology like an excuse. The memory thing wasn’t bullshit- but make no mistake I *knew* I was doing it. I didn’t mean to imply otherwise. For this and so very many other things, I am truly sorry.

I apologized profusely and repeatedly to my beta’s. I’m not consciously trying to cut off from the fandom- I’m just to ashamed to speak. I deserve any and all outrage- and accept the consequences of my stupidity.

My plagiarism penalty was losing all of you. The talent, the stories, the Twitter banter- are all sorely missed. I should have stuck to reading and reviewing- which is what all of you wonderful woman deserve.

I’m not apologizing to gain entry back into the fandom. I couldn’t/wouldn’t do that for all the Edward in the world.

Again, I suck and I’m sorry. I would give you back the time you spent reading and investing in the story if I could.

Allow us to also apologize to Ninapolitan, because she was right. Instead of tossing around crap theories all the time, just ask the person if you want the truth about something. They’re not going to lie, ffs:

Now that you’re feeling bad about yourself because you can’t even remember your own phone number half the time, let us point out that people who volunteer or donate regularly are happier people. Better to give than to receive, yakety yak. With that in mind, please consider helping to send the beloved RoseArcadia to ComicCon! The A/N attached to the end of Jadalulu‘s Fold Your Wings tells you why:

*Peeks out at you from finger sluts…err…slits*

Yes, your eyes do not deceive you. ‘Tis a cliffy. Feel free to flounce. I know how cruel they are. 🙂

*CLAPS HANDS TOGETHER* NOW…

We’re trying to get our girl RoseArcadia to Comic Con! She’s very shy about this subject and is prolly gonna string me up by mah butt cheeks for doing this-and for raving about her (she’s a rare form of modest), but it must be done. I’m not sure if you guys have had the pleasure of talking to her, but she is the epitome of what this fandom is about. She’s incredibly supportive and uplifting to countless authors. I know I can depend on her to give me an honest, straight forward opinion-sans any catty drama. And let’s be real. A RoseArcadia blinkie is right up there with a forehead kiss from Edward. I know I speak for more than just myself when I say that without her, the fandom wouldn’t be the same. I remember when I was strictly a reader with wistful fantasies about writing something of my own. When I finally worked up the nerve to post, Rose was the first person to embrace me. I cannot accurately describe to you the level of support she lends. Her faith in me isn’t repayable…BUT I’ll be damned if I don’t do my all to try.

Suzie55 and co. forced her to add a donate button to her blog. So, bbs, if you’re feeling so inclined…

http:/rosearcadia(dot)blogspot(dot)com/?zx=11b03b333d699aac.

And now…I run like hell and hide. She’s gonna kicketh my asseth.

Off in a dustcloud,

~jada~

Even SR is promoting this worthy cause along with his/her usual plugs for Alex’s Lemonade Stand etc:

This isn’t a charity, but an opportunity to show our appreciation to RoseArcadia, who has designed blinkies and banners for so many writers. Send her to Comic Con. Donate at: http://rosearcadia.blogspot.com

Girl has lots of friends in high places. We’re jealous. Two of us never heard of her until today, so this jealousy is particularly aggravating.

So, while we’re apologizing to everyone–krismom for not realizing she had “unfounded or Asperger’s-ish” total recall, Ninapolitan for posting theories without asking her first, and RoseArcadia for not knowing who she was until everyone started wanting to send her to ComicCon–let us not forget to apologize to Icy as well. Because just like this nonnie said, we’re just not creative enough to come up with a story like that and that’s why we thought it was a clusterfuck, not because it sucked or anything. We felt secure in our disdain because obviously if it were any good, Omnific would have snapped it up, right?

Right. Except it looks like TWCS beat them to it:

It’s so good already that they really don’t need to do much except print it out and glue it together. The first installment will be out at the end of May.

If you hurry up and apply for one of TWCS’s internships, you might get to witness the fascinating process firsthand.

And see? We thought we were too busy to twank on the weekends. But none of us has a publishing deal, so our attempt to look awesome failed. Damn Icy. She couldn’t do this on a Wednesday?

Laters, twanks.

Our roller coaster ride is just beginning.

What would you personally consider success in fandom?

Lots of reviews? An award? Seeing your name in every love post?

…A printing publishing deal?

You pathetic underachiever.

If your ultimate goal isn’t to have a fanfic about you, Jennde, Icy, Morgan Locklear, and Ninapolitan posted on ff.net, then you’re obviously just treading water until your trust fund kicks in. You are dead weight, and are hereby voted off this island.

ETA: Link is no longer valid. See screencap here.

ETA II: Oh noes, we have a flounce!

Some highlights:

But alas, talent is a beast with it’s own set of parameters. It literally chooses you. Sebastien didn’t know it, but he had indeed been chosen.


I HAVE BEEN CHOSEN! FAREWELL, MY FRIENDS. I GO ON TO A BETTER PLACE.

He was a writer, so of course he wrote, and wrote, and wrote some more. Does a cow not produce milk? Does a duck not quack?

Does a bull not shit?

His editor Jennde was his most trusted friend, and the only one to see his masterpiece as it formed slowly over the months. Each successful posting, brought people by the millions out of the woodworks, leaving poor Sebastien to abuse his own lip with his awkwardly capped fangs, and made him wonder if perhaps he should have rethought his endeavor.

Too late. The barn door is open and the horses are dead. LET’S BEAT THEM!

He was becoming utterly-famous. He shuddered at the realization.

ZOMG! That’s how we reacted too!!11! *fangirl squees*

“He’s not taking it down!” Jennde told Icy, which turned the Icy lady cold with anger.

“Yes, he will. If you don’t…” she eyed Sebastien, as he held tight to the leather chair beneath him. “Then I turn her. Your choice.”

*instant crickets*

This trainwreck would not be complete without a cryptic, panty-drenching review from Morgan Locklear, in which one of us finally realizes that MOG does not in fact mean “Mother of God.”

We’re shaking in our skivvies as we wonder just what the evil puppetmaster has in mind…

If you came in here with even an ounce of self-esteem today, we sincerely hope it’s gone. Damn, just when you think you’ve made some headway along the Alpine Path, you look up from your well-written, cliché-free manuscript and realize that Sebastien Robichaud/Sylvain Reynard is already at the top.

Not that SR’s life is perfect, not by a long shot. If it were us, we’d want our hagiographies done by someone other than Miss RMD, who brought us the epic tale My Name Is Edward. At the very least, we’d hope for someone with a better grasp of mechanics so the tribute doesn’t read like a colossal clusterfuck. But hey, you get what you settle for in this world.

Nonnie, thank you. As much as we’d love to have called satire on this one…what the shiz. Either way, it was still funny.