|Luca (@SharkJumper) on Sometimes They Come Back, DLC…|
|chtx on Sometimes they come back|
|Aurora on Christians and Liars|
|bluelagoon on Lesser…of two…evil…|
|bluelagoon on Lesser…of two…evil…|
Apparently we'll never grow out of twank.
We’re a few days late on this one. It was the weekend, okay? Kids to entertain, houses to clean. Moms’ work is never done.
Speaking of moms, TwilightMOMS (they have a website and they sell Twilight-inspired stuff?) had themselves a spectacular tantrum on Twitter this Thursday. Someone was trying to make money off their good name!!!1!
The alleged perpetrator, “Twilight Moms Club: TWI-MOMS,” has been on Facebook since June of last year. Their plot outline on Facebook reads:
“THIS GROUP IS ALL ABOUT THE TWILIGHT SAGA! WE ARE HERE TO HAVE FUN, MEET OTHER MOMS, AND FORM FRIENDSHIPS, ALL WHILE DISCUSSING OUR FAVORITE CULLEN OR TWILIGHT CHARACTER. IN THIS GROUP WE WILL ALSO PASS ALONG ANY MOMMY RELATED THINGS!”
For several months, they were on Twitter as @Twilight_Moms. The TwilightMOMS website, however, used the Twitter name @TwilightMOMS, so you already know this is going to end in tears. Because of @TwilightMOMS’ tantrum, @Twilight_Moms has since changed their Twitter to @Twimoms_Club.
It might help you keep things straight if you remember TwilightMOMS as the one YELLING.
It was all well and good when the new group, @Twilight_Moms, just wanted to hang around and talk about Twilight, but then they decided to go for the big bucks, namely selling T-shirts for Child Abuse Prevention Month. Because there could be no reason for using “moms” in a fundraiser about child abuse prevention other than to capitalise on TwilightMOMS’ fame, right?
@Twilight_Lexicon, who had never previously taken notice of @Twilight_Moms despite all the retweets the _Moms gave them this last month (which was as far back as we went), immediately sent up an emergency flare to the FOR REALZ @TwilightMOMS. Then proceeded to bloviate on the subject for the next 10 tweets:
Sorry. 😦 We told you we were fat lazy moos.
…Oh, you meant the _Moms. Erm…right. Carry on.
@elikarae said it best:
It’s funny how TwiLex had just tweeted about Bath & Body Works being threatened by Summit over the “Twilight Woods” fragrance, because Twilight Woods™ is trademarked also, yet Summit claims they’re trying to capitalize on Twilight by “rip[ping] off the design and color palate of “Twilight” promo materials.”
Design and color palate…
TwilightMOMS claims their name is trademarked. We can’t find that specific name on TESS (doesn’t mean it isn’t out there, but it made us giggle anyway), but an owner search on the company Twilight Moms LLC brings up two Twilight MOM trademarks for clothing and jewelry and one for “Team Alice.” So tread carefully or you might get sued by the rightful owner. Which is not Summit.
Anyway, TwilightMOMS was on a field trip with her daughter’s class (thanks for telling us), but when she got home, the tantrum commenced:
IKR??? First someone else claiming to be a Twilight mom, then a tsunami the next day. It’s just one thing after another!!!
Then there was this block of tweets from @Twilight_Moms (their name had already changed to @Twimoms_Club when we caught it) which is much easier to cap than link one by one, though remember this feed would have been interspersed with responses from @TwilightMOMS.
@Twilight_4u thought @TwilightMOMS was too high on herself and said so (again, block of tweets, bottom to top):
No good deed goes unpunished:
In summary, we have no idea what the fuck just happened. God closed his eyes and TwilightMOMS took over or something.
What would you personally consider success in fandom?
Lots of reviews? An award? Seeing your name in every love post?
…A printing publishing deal?
If your ultimate goal isn’t to have a fanfic about you, Jennde, Icy, Morgan Locklear, and Ninapolitan posted on ff.net, then you’re obviously just treading water until your trust fund kicks in. You are dead weight, and are hereby voted off this island.
ETA: Link is no longer valid. See screencap here.
ETA II: Oh noes, we have a flounce!
But alas, talent is a beast with it’s own set of parameters. It literally chooses you. Sebastien didn’t know it, but he had indeed been chosen.
He was a writer, so of course he wrote, and wrote, and wrote some more. Does a cow not produce milk? Does a duck not quack?
Does a bull not shit?
His editor Jennde was his most trusted friend, and the only one to see his masterpiece as it formed slowly over the months. Each successful posting, brought people by the millions out of the woodworks, leaving poor Sebastien to abuse his own lip with his awkwardly capped fangs, and made him wonder if perhaps he should have rethought his endeavor.
Too late. The barn door is open and the horses are dead. LET’S BEAT THEM!
He was becoming utterly-famous. He shuddered at the realization.
ZOMG! That’s how we reacted too!!11! *fangirl squees*
“He’s not taking it down!” Jennde told Icy, which turned the Icy lady cold with anger.
“Yes, he will. If you don’t…” she eyed Sebastien, as he held tight to the leather chair beneath him. “Then I turn her. Your choice.”
This trainwreck would not be complete without a cryptic, panty-drenching review from Morgan Locklear, in which one of us finally realizes that MOG does not in fact mean “Mother of God.”
We’re shaking in our skivvies as we wonder just what the evil puppetmaster has in mind…
If you came in here with even an ounce of self-esteem today, we sincerely hope it’s gone. Damn, just when you think you’ve made some headway along the Alpine Path, you look up from your well-written, cliché-free manuscript and realize that Sebastien Robichaud/Sylvain Reynard is already at the top.
Not that SR’s life is perfect, not by a long shot. If it were us, we’d want our hagiographies done by someone other than Miss RMD, who brought us the epic tale My Name Is Edward. At the very least, we’d hope for someone with a better grasp of mechanics so the tribute doesn’t read like a colossal clusterfuck. But hey, you get what you settle for in this world.
Nonnie, thank you. As much as we’d love to have called satire on this one…what the shiz. Either way, it was still funny.