twankharder

Apparently we'll never grow out of twank.

Betty Smith is the Messiah and we’re doing fandom wrong.

When a campfire on ADF reaches 88 comments, you just know someone, somewhere, has pulled his or her fic.

Early this morn, Betty Smith, author of Gentleman from Washington State, pulled that same story from fanfail.net and Twilighted, leaving it up on her blog for the time being although it seems it will soon disappear from there also.

Pulling to publish has become such a pastime that it’s pretty much the default assumption when a story disappears. This doesn’t seem to be the case here. The cryptic campfire made it seem like BS pulled because she’d slammed another fic’s popularity and didn’t like the fallout. That assumption probably came from her 3/28 blog entry, which mentioned a fic called The Plan:

Remember when The Plan was hot and heavy on Twitter? “Big Name Authors” and “Big Name Readers” gushed over it. Readers were sucked in and with good reason. The plotline was the comfortable, yet exciting zone of UST. The phrasing and dialogue were crisp. And above all, it was an intravenous mainline of pure drug to the average Fic reader’s heroin like addiction to constant updates. It was all of those things, but I also thought it was a gimmick – a torturous dribble of porn decorated with the most tired plotline and setting possible. And no, I find nothing challenging in writing 300 word snippets every seven hours.

During that time I joked on Twitter that maybe I should chop up my next 6000 word chapter in 500 word increments over the week. People thought that was mean. Then I predicted that The Plan would change Fic forever by introducing smaller, more frequent chapters in an effort to garner more reviews.

Ooops. I’d crossed a line. I started to get re-tweeted as a Benedict Arnold. I lost followers instantly. I’d broken the unspoken rule that nothing negative could be said by another author.

~~~

It does seem strange that she would pull so soon after that, but while we don’t know how long ago this happened, the thing with The Plan looks like it’s an old reference. Besides, the entry only has 22 comments and they’re all standard sycophantia. So rather than assume it’s due to butthurt, we’ll turn our bibles browsers to Betty 4:3 for Frequently Asked Questions about Why I Pulled The Gentleman from Washington State:

1. Why did you do it?
Because I wanted to.

2. Do you intend to publish it?
Why? Are you offering me a three book contract? No. Well, probably not. But maybe. If I were to publish it, the story would be largely unrecognizable from the one you’ve read. It would be a third of its size with very different characters. Plus, everyone who read it as a work in progress knows that I based the outcome on a real life election. I have an alternate ending all planned out, and frankly, it’s a better, more realistic one.

3. Why leave it on your blog if you pulled it from FFN and Twilighted?
Because I’m not ready to completely say good bye to it, and I wanted people who were in the process of reading the story when I pulled to be able to finish.

4. What made you decide to pull it now?
I was debating when to pull the story, and I’d been thinking that I’d pull it when I got to 10,000 reviews. Yesterday, I decided that was the most hypocritical, weenie reason I could think of. I complain all the time about voluminous, soap operatic stories where the plot is obviously perpetuated just to get more reviews. I always said that I wouldn’t do that, so yesterday afternoon, I impulsively hit “delete.”

5. If you may not publish it, why pull it from FFN?
Because the more distance I get from the story, the more I see its flaws – and there are many. Leaving a complete fic on FFN is like having a first draft out there that you really would like to fix, but can’t because you don’t have the time or motivation to mess with it. Also, I’m ready to move on. If I leave it on FFN, the story in its current flawed form will “live on” in reviews, PMs, etc. There’s very little of that with my blog.

6. Will you ever write a sequel or outtake?
No, but thanks for asking!

Please let me know if you have other questions, but really, there are far more important issues in the world to care about than why Betty Smith pulled a fic.

~~~

Ah, yes, the stock answer “Don’t you losers have anything better to worry about?” There are far more important issues in the world than how popular a fanfic writer you are and how many reviews you get, aren’t there? And speaking of review-begging, it looks like the next commandment blog entry will be addressing that:

8. It’s considered rude to publicly promote yourself, but commonplace to anonymously slam others.

Funny you should mention publicly promoting yourself, since Google turned up this page from over a year ago, when KStew411 was still around. (They mostly tweeted news about “Stewey,” but also did fic recs, and one could argue that they were instrumental in making Master of the Universe into the monster it already was way back then.)

“The Gentleman from Washington State” by Betty Smith

We’ve got a little theme this week. Both stories came from the authors recommending them to me. It’s really rare–I can count on one hand how many ficsters have sent me their own stories. But I got a very nice email from Betty a couple weeks ago along with a link to her story, so I read it. And I fell in love. Lately I’ve been a bit off the angsty stories, but have been adding a lot of UST (unresolved sexual tension) to my fic caddy. “The Gentleman” is arguably one of the UST-iest stories you’ll ever find…

Emphasis ours. All right, which one of you bullies told her that was shameless? Come on, who? We’ll ban your ass so fast…

And of course, no grandstanding would be complete without the inevitable “anonymous bashing” argument. The irony, of course, being that we have no way of ever knowing whether the argu..er has done any anonymous bashing him/herself. (Unless the IP of someone complaining about anonymous blogs just happens to match someone who left bashy comments on said blog, but that’s not relevant to this post). Mind you, Betty Smith didn’t mind the original Twankhard so long as it let her know “what was going on in the world” and because “there’s some truth in the comments” (just the ones she agrees with, we presume):

LMAO. I’ll let you know if Betty Smith haunts me. And yeah, I read this board because it’s good to know what’s going on in the world.

~~

Wow. I write tongue in cheek, but my statement was not.

1. LMAO – I was laughing because it was funny.

2. And yeah – I admitted that I read these boards, which even reading them is considered turncoat behavior by some.

3. What’s going on in the world – I read these boards because there are some kernels of truth in some of the readers comments. Regardless, it’s good to know what people are thinking – even if you disagree.

~~

Teal deer? You don’t even have to be publishing to sound like a pretentious narcissist, and only losers explain why they’re leaving. 107yearoldvirgin, this means you!/sarcasm At least we’re spared the endless inane reminders of just how much she didn’t/doesn’t care and how she knew everything that was going to happen long before we ever knew anything was going to happen.

So far.

Advertisements

58 responses to “Betty Smith is the Messiah and we’re doing fandom wrong.

  1. Anonymous April 3, 2011 at 5:59 pm

    So rather than assume it’s due to butthurt, we’ll turn our bibles browsers to Betty 4:3

    LOL

  2. Anonymousie April 3, 2011 at 6:09 pm

    I REMEMBER her defending hereself on Twankhard! Lol, the twank wasn’t even about her, just a comment & she had to show up & defend herself. Even back then it was TLDR. I knew then that I’d enver read her stories even if I’d wanted to.

  3. Ralph S. Mouse April 3, 2011 at 6:47 pm

    You’re back! Yay!

    Ugh, I had to unfollow Betty Smith a long time ago due to her whining. She’s always calling out other authors and getting all offended when people tell her it’s not classy. She thinks she’s so ~edgy for being willing to speak her mind. To me it looks like she just can’t feel good about her writing unless she tears everyone else apart.

    • Nondeplume April 4, 2011 at 9:32 pm

      This might be just me, but I’d rather people do their bitching anonymously. If you do it from your author account, it’s like you’re saying “I’m better than you!” Even if it’s by PM. But Twitter? That’s ont edgy, it’s rude and belligerent.

  4. Anonymous April 3, 2011 at 6:59 pm

    2. Do you intend to publish it?
    Why? Are you offering me a three book contract? No. Well, probably not. But maybe. If I were to publish it, the story would be largely unrecognizable from the one you’ve read.

    I read it and wouldn’t offer a three-fanfic deal, much less a book. Good luck publishing The Gentleman from Nebraska State with TWCS.

  5. Anonymous April 3, 2011 at 7:37 pm

    waiting for the chorus of This is why I stick to completed fics!

    except, wait…

    • Nondeplume April 4, 2011 at 9:35 pm

      HA! That was my first thought when I saw the campfire about someone pulling…and then realized it WAS a completed fic. :\

  6. Anonymous April 3, 2011 at 8:25 pm

    If someone wants to publish, that’s thier business. Everyone attacks these authors that just want a little payback for all the time they spent on thier stories! What business is it of yours if Betty Smith wants to publish? She wrote an All Human story that has NOTHING to do with Twilight at all!! If she changes the names it has nothing to do with Stephenie Meyer’s books. If you don’t like it don’t buy it, just respect the right of the author to do what she wants with her original story.

    • PullmyFinger April 3, 2011 at 10:03 pm

      Girlfriend, I read this story about 20 or more chapters until I flounced and there was so much in this story that was Twlight I can’t keep track.

    • nomsie April 3, 2011 at 10:04 pm

      LOL. Hi Betty.

    • Nondeplume April 4, 2011 at 9:37 pm

      I don’t think she IS publishing, tho…RTFA? It’s just a flounce, with bonus speshul snowflakeness.

    • Ellie April 5, 2011 at 9:05 am

      Well lets brush over the fact it would be illegal to publish and look at the story, It’s dreadful! I read the first 7 or 8 chapters and then gave up. The sad thing is I think this lady honestly thinks she has talent. Anyone who hasn’t read it trust me you haven’t missed anything. I can’t imagine any legit publishing house touching this story with a ten foot pole.

  7. disgusted April 3, 2011 at 8:39 pm

    Is Fantasy Mother the resident white knight on ADF? Jfc, every single time an author gets called out for anything, there she is with her thoughts on yaoi.

  8. nomsie April 3, 2011 at 8:45 pm

    What’s the deal with people doing Q&A’s with themselves? It’s like talking to your mirror image. It’s embarrassing. Stop.

    When you read between the lines (“first draft…that you really would like to fix,” “story in its current flawed form”) it’s pretty obvious what she would like to do. But if TWCS or the Twilighted publishing house won’t make you an offer you’ll just have to try on your own. Oh fandom.

    • Whert April 3, 2011 at 10:04 pm

      Maybe she’s angry they haven’t approached her yet and wants to show them what they’re missing.

    • Nondeplume April 4, 2011 at 9:38 pm

      Only thing worse are those “character interviews.” Remember when tara sue me did them and they took up a third of each chapter?

  9. I wonder... April 3, 2011 at 8:47 pm

    I wonder if anyone who pulls now is doing it for publicity. I never would have looked at this fic otherwise, and it’s not on the Google Docs list. You know you’re unknown when your fic isn’t even on there. When other authors have pulled, readers always ask “Does anyone have the PDF?” or if the authro gives warning they download it. This fic was finished awhile ago, right? So if she hasn’t been getting attention for it lately, maybe she thought it was a good way to get her name posted somewhere. Her blog is probably getting more hits today then it has for a long while. Plus her whiny FAQ will make all her fans come reassure her that she’ll be missed/beg her to stay (I giggled at “sycophantia” and will be borrowing that at some point)

    If you pull a fic, or only post it on your blog, you don’t have to compete review-wise with other stories because everyone knows a blog won’t get as many comments as a fic on failfuck.net would get reviews. If she wasn’t ready to let go yet, why take it off ff and twilight either? I’m saying this because that article about emailing the KStew people (I remember they had like 20000 followers; that’s like emailing one of the cast or something and aksing them to recommend your fanfiction) looks like she’ll do anything for attention and publicity.

    It’s silly to say this since I love your blog, but maybe by posting about it, not that you’re the only ones, you’re making it more glamorous to flounce and everyone’s going to do it just for the explosion or well wishes from their little fangirls.

    • Whert April 3, 2011 at 10:02 pm

      I have to agree with this, since she just went into that campfire to repost the text of her blog. After she’s been retweeting herself all morning.

      Betty, please stop talking.

    • Anonymous April 4, 2011 at 4:55 pm

      This, x2. I also like reading Twankharder (and the first one) because otherwise I wouldn’t know which assholes to avoid. But I also think that people like Betty Smith and Snowballs-Icicle just like to cause drama. They’re like children having a tantrum; if you walk away, they get it out of their system and quiet down pretty quickly. But if everyone gathers around to see the action, and talks about it to others, there are some people who see that as a positive.

      I was around when Icy pulled MotU in response to that translation. There was no reason to do that other than to make her little fans crazy so they’d pile on that girl. This looks like the same kind of BS, except Betty isn’t nearly as popular as she seems to think. She probably did get bored with the story, especially since it had to be getting few reviews at this point, like you said. So let’s pull it and watch what happens, and then perpetuate the fallout with a self-important explanation.

      Someone needs to remind these girls that we’re writing meh fanfic on the internet. Even well-known published authors get criticized if they act like prima donnas.

      • NonnyNonnyNooNoo April 5, 2011 at 5:25 am

        Honestly, I think the Russian was a scapegoat for her pulling. I think she knew back then that the story was going to be published and wanted to remove it from FFn, but with an excuse so her fangirl army didn’t turn on her.

    • Nondeplume April 4, 2011 at 9:39 pm

      If you pull a fic, or only post it on your blog, you don’t have to compete review-wise with other stories because everyone knows a blog won’t get as many comments as a fic on failfuck.net would get reviews.

      — This would certainly explain why WA was pulled.

    • anonymous April 4, 2011 at 10:12 pm

      I guess we know why AG flounced then.

  10. Anonymous April 3, 2011 at 9:05 pm

    “Why did you pull? Because I wanted to.”

    ANd you felt so secure in your right to do so that you had to write a long (not as long as AngstyG though) explanation as to why we don’t DESERVE an explanation. I never heard of your story before this. nice how you can call other authors out but get all defensive and high an mighty when someone dares question you PULLING your fic.

    • One more robsessed fan April 4, 2011 at 10:23 am

      See this is mostly what I feel. I never even heard of the author but right awayshe comes off with attitude. If your right is to take the story down, good, but then you should have to say nothing. And what is wrong with saying why you are leaving? I was reading FAP and the author said goodbye so nice that everyone misses her.

      English isn’t my first language so I don’t know if I explained it right… I just don’t understand why treating your readers that gave you reviews like you care must mean you’re weak or giving too much of yourselves. Every person is so afraid their being taken advantage of that they forget to be nice.

    • Nondeplume April 4, 2011 at 9:40 pm

      IKR? If you’re going to be rude about it, why explain at all?

  11. PullmyFinger April 3, 2011 at 10:01 pm

    *sigh* Her story sucked so much I flounced. It was like the same chapter over and over. And the story had been done yet she feels its okay to give others shit? Please woman.

  12. I call myself myself April 3, 2011 at 11:46 pm

    I flounced sooo long ago because she refers to herself in the third person. I seriously effing hate that. /random

    • Um April 4, 2011 at 9:14 am

      I do that sometimes liike if I’m giving bad news. But if I didn’t like someone I’d find it irritating.

    • yodaspeak April 5, 2011 at 1:42 am

      YES!! I downloaded it to my nook to read because it was complete and well, I was looking for something to read. But the fact that in all of her author notes she referred to herself in the third person made me cringe! I usually skip the a/n but I caught one and had to reread it several times to make sure I was understanding it right. For a second I thought she was having someone else write the notes for her. Then I realized that she’s just full of herself.

  13. Anon E Mouse April 4, 2011 at 12:23 am

    I’ve heard of this fic, but never bothered with it. Meh.

  14. solareclipses April 4, 2011 at 12:38 am

    Okay, so she removed her fic from FFn, but isn’t publishing it, and is leaving it available on her website. She’s telling people this, obviously so she doesn’t get accused of crap, but she still gets accused of crap. Awesome. I’m struggling to understand what’s wrong with this one. (And, no, before any tap-heads say it: I haven’t read this fic to be fapping for its cause.)

    Can we have more lolz, plz?

    If you’re struggling to find something that isn’t dry and boring, might I suggest all the pornographic images that have Rob’s face poorly Photoshopped onto them?

    • Um April 4, 2011 at 8:12 am

      How do you twank manips exactly? They’ve been around since Rob was chosen to play Edward and theres a new one every day, maybe more. You don’t think this is twankish but would be completely engrossed if there were posted here?
      It’s like on f_w, it’s not the event itself that makes it wanky, it’s how people react and they’d already reacted before Twankhard posted.

    • anon April 4, 2011 at 8:18 am

      gotta agree with solar here.. Where is the wank?

      you guys are really scraping the bottom of the barrel with this one.

    • One more robsessed fan April 4, 2011 at 10:52 am

      The Photoshop is dry and boring, you ask me. I follow a woman on Twitter who always has them, I have to ignore her when she starts posting so many.

      I didn’t think they said Betty was publishing, but everyone else was saying so and that’s why it’s here? Besides we have people saying how rude she is and that is why I read this blog. Why is only your lolz that matters? I would say this doesn’t make me laugh, not this is stupid, how could anyone ever find this funny?

    • JP April 4, 2011 at 3:21 pm

      I agree on both points from above. I don’t see what was wrong with what she did and the biggest majority of those manips are absolutely awful and creepy.
      Surely there’s more out there that’s twank-worthy than picking at Betty for moving her story to her blog.

    • Anonymous April 4, 2011 at 4:04 pm

      She didn’t get twanked because she’s publishing. She was twanked because she’s an egomaniac who tweets criticism of fics that are more popular than hers, and who apparently shamelessly pimps herself everywhere she can. And the reason people tweet things like that instead of just reviewing or sending a PM is because they’re looking for validation, for all their Twitter frands to chime in and say, “OMG, The Plan was so stupid! It’s nothing like your fic, Betty!” And since not everyone has Twitter, she has to air her grievances on her blog so that everyone knows how she was mistreated. That is the twank.

      Photoshopped Rob? That’s news now?

      No, I don’t think you’re fapping because you like the fic. I think you’re fapping because you haven’t liked this site ever since you showed your ass in the post about the Aspie Edward contest and insulted all of us who have autistic children (or siblings, or whomever) by saying that wasn’t bad. Like Betty, you know how everything is supposed to be in the world, and the rest of us should be taking instructions from you.

    • WTF April 4, 2011 at 6:33 pm

      IIRC, you didn’t think sweet, endearing “Aspieward” was a big deal either, so I’m comfortable letting Twankharder judge what should be on this site…

    • Nondeplume April 4, 2011 at 9:45 pm

      If you’re struggling to find something that isn’t dry and boring, might I suggest all the pornographic images that have Rob’s face poorly Photoshopped onto them?

      — What would they do with them that’s funny? Just curious.

    • twankharder April 4, 2011 at 11:29 pm

      If you’re struggling to find something that isn’t dry and boring, might I suggest all the pornographic images that have Rob’s face poorly Photoshopped onto them?

      Uh, sure, we’ll get right on that.

  15. WTF April 4, 2011 at 6:51 pm

    If Betty thinks fandom is a like a school cafeteria, maybe that’s because she tried too hard to be queen bee and made her friends according to that. You don’t get to know the nice people that way.

  16. Anonymous April 4, 2011 at 7:28 pm

    LMAO.
    Bye, Betty. Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

  17. anonymous April 4, 2011 at 10:15 pm

    I love how her initials are BS. Js.

  18. Nonnieo April 4, 2011 at 10:46 pm

    I have to ask: Are you guys going to do a twank relating to the BD leaks? Or perhaps a post about the dead-but-not-really Daddy’s Little Cannibal (http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1542023/Daddys_Little_Cannibal)

    • twankharder April 4, 2011 at 11:28 pm

      Probably not. The BD leaks are kind of funny because it’s probably Summit looking for publicity, but mostly we’re sticking with fandom people being asses. There isn’t much you can say about pictures if no particular people were involved.

      Wow, that’s bizarre, DLC coming back now. I’ll ask the others if they think we should post about it; I wasn’t around when she was active in fandom and don’t know what the old-timers would say about giving her more attention.

      • Is that cheese? April 5, 2011 at 1:42 am

        DLC is delusional. “I’m a good person…The more hate messages you send me, the more it makes me not regret leaving fanfiction because I left for that reason.” Bitch, you faked your own death and are getting hate messages because you are most certainly NOT a good person.

        Betty Smith is bland and boring.

  19. Ellie April 5, 2011 at 9:14 am

    The author clearly has her head up her own backside and is desperate for publicity. Like I said above i started reading it but found it seriously dull so anyone who hasn’t read it your not missing much. If you’re looking for politicianward check out the cullen campaign instead.

  20. 107yearoldvirgin April 5, 2011 at 3:34 pm

    Ack! Ack! I have to laugh at your little ribbing of me here – LOL I legit had a heart palpitation when I saw my name, and then you added the sarcasm font and I was all, “WHEW.”

    PS – DLC gave me uber laughs yesterday.

    O.o

    • Is that cheese? April 5, 2011 at 3:48 pm

      107, I really appreciate the classy way you left. No sarcasm implied!

    • LKAakano1knowsme April 11, 2011 at 8:52 am

      I think 107yearoldvirgin went out the classy way. Betty, well I flounced her fic by chapter 4 & found her tweets to be more whiny and annoying than well the “queen” of fanfiction.

  21. Anonymous April 9, 2011 at 2:37 pm

    I think she was pretty clearheaded about seeing flaws in her own story. It’s an honest way to look at it. Wasn’t that her first Twific? I think her attitude toward it is practical, for a writer.

    “I was debating when to pull the story, and I’d been thinking that I’d pull it when I got to 10,000 reviews. Yesterday, I decided that was the most hypocritical, weenie reason I could think of. I complain all the time about voluminous, soap operatic stories where the plot is obviously perpetuated just to get more reviews. I always said that I wouldn’t do that, so yesterday afternoon, I impulsively hit ‘delete’.”

    Sounds to me like she realized her own hypocrisy and then corrected it. Shouldn’t she get credit for that?

    I stopped reading “Gentleman” too, because I didn’t like it. But that doesn’t keep me from acknowledging that she’s right about some things. I agree with her sentiments about “The Plan.” She also raised a lot of valid points about authors criticizing each other. Unfortunately, that all got lost in what happened after that. I don’t know if I would have reacted to the reaction as she did. It doesn’t mean she’s wrong about everything, though. The whole issue of authors criticizing other authors should be discussed, especially if the criticism is valid and diplomatic.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: