twankharder

Apparently we'll never grow out of twank.

Christians and Liars

It’s here.

Beginning 4/28, proceed to TWCS in order to reserve your copy.

Official summary:

When literature student Anastasia Steele is drafted to interview the successful young entrepreneur Christian Grey for her campus magazine, she finds him attractive, enigmatic and intimidating. Convinced their meeting went badly, she tries to put Grey out of her mind – until he happens to turn up at the out-of-town hardware store where she works part-time.

The unworldly, innocent Ana is shocked to realize she wants this man, and when he warns her to keep her distance it only makes her more desperate to get close to him. Unable to resist Ana’s quiet beauty, wit, and independent spirit, Grey admits he wants her – but on his own terms.

Shocked yet thrilled by Grey’s singular erotic tastes, Ana hesitates. For all the trappings of success – his multinational businesses, his vast wealth, his loving adoptive family – Grey is man tormented by demons and consumed by the need to control. When the couple embarks on a passionate, physical and daring affair, Ana learns more about her own dark desires, as well as the Christian Grey hidden away from public scrutiny.

Can their relationship transcend physical passion? Will Ana find it in herself to submit to the self-indulgent Master? And if she does, will she still love what she finds?

Erotic, amusing, and deeply moving, the Fifty Shades Trilogy is a tale that will obsess you, possess you, and stay with you forever.

We are excite. Are you excite? Show us your excite faces.

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38 responses to “Christians and Liars

  1. Heather March 9, 2011 at 7:47 pm

    I wouldn’t wipe my ass with the pages of this POS. Even the summary sounds like shit

  2. Nunya March 9, 2011 at 7:50 pm

    Part of me is curious if the tampon scene was taken out. I hope not. Because MOTU fans ate that shit up.

    • Heather March 9, 2011 at 7:57 pm

      I’d hope they didn’t eat that shit up…. that would be disturbing lol

    • tact guy March 9, 2011 at 8:09 pm

      Tampon scene? I don’t even want to ask.

      This scares me. The biggest thing about it that scares me is that I actually know people who are so excited about this they could just burst, you know?

      One wonders, if once they have it in book form, if they will suddenly realise, hey, this is actually kind of shit.

  3. Anon E Mouse March 9, 2011 at 7:56 pm

    Please no tampon scene. It didn’t take Omni long to put it out. How long ago did Icy pull it? If it wasn’t too long ago, makes me think that Omni does less editing than I thought.

    • Anon E Mouse March 9, 2011 at 8:04 pm

      Oops. I meant TWCS. Who is behind TWCS?

    • Alby Mangroves March 9, 2011 at 8:20 pm

      Actually, I shouldn’t think this all happened last week. MoTU has been around for a long time and I’m sure that the author hasn’t been sitting on her hands this entire time so that she could pull, edit and publish in the course of a week. I’m certain it has been edited within an inch of its life and that the publishing deal has been on her plate for months. You guys are all thinking this happened last week? Come on! It’s just that the fandom was only advised last week.

      • Anon E Mouse March 9, 2011 at 8:32 pm

        I asked because I didn’t think it was pulled that long ago. A couple of months ago?

        • Alby Mangroves March 9, 2011 at 10:53 pm

          To be honest, I don’t know, but I’m sure that shit would have hit the fan immediately, so I don’t think that she pulled it until last week, or earlier this week as the case may be. I think it was orcherstrated that way to minimise the fandom outcry (as in there would be less time to agonize over it for her fans/enemies) and also to have the story fresh in their minds so they wouldn’t forget how much they love it, and perhaps buy it.

  4. vegetarianvamps March 9, 2011 at 8:51 pm

    Oh, that’s…I can’t come up with a term for this.

    Poor trees. *shakes head* SHAME.

  5. methinks March 9, 2011 at 9:03 pm

    Anastasia Steele? Seriously?? Oh my…

  6. Wonk wonk March 9, 2011 at 9:43 pm

    The “publisher” is none other than Amanda aka thespoiltone aka author of The Training School

    I shit you not.

  7. Is that cheese? March 9, 2011 at 9:59 pm

    She works at the hardware store? It’s hammer-time.

    “Self-indulgent master” makes me picture the dude with a laptop propped up on an extensive beer belly, surrounded by empty boxes of doughnuts.

    I might have to steal this book just for the unintentional laughs.

  8. Anonymous March 9, 2011 at 11:48 pm

    I think she is still going to finish motu ii….right?

  9. CQH Extraordinaire March 10, 2011 at 7:18 am

    Wait wait!! Did no one notice that Echo Charlie is going to become Charlie Golf????

  10. Captain Obvious March 10, 2011 at 3:56 pm

    OMG – that cover is just horrible. I am surprised that they have the cover up and everything already, although what Alby says makes sense.

    To the comment about Paper/Ebook – I’m sure anyone who wants a copy of this turd can buy it through Amazon. I’ve noticed that a lot of these “publishing houses” that have popped up only have paper books available through online retailers (amazon, ebay, etc) and not in brick & mortar stores like Barnes & Noble or Borders. I, for one, am glad my beloved neighborhood Borders will not have shelves full of this crap. I made the mistake once of buying a book through an online publisher I had never heard of before and it was horrible! I couldn’t even finish reading the book. I don’t know if it had fanfiction origins, but I’ve read better fanfiction than this POS that I bought.

    Now, I like MOTU – it’s different from the kind of Twific I normally read, but I certainly wouldn’t buy it. There are some questionable scenes where I’m left going “really?” but I’m one of those people who have a hard time not finishing a story (except the above mentioned flounce)… and there is enough of a story line to keep me interested. Now that its getting published, I’m half tempted to not bother reading the rest of the updates for MOTU-II.

    And don’t get me started on the names of the characters! Gray? Steele? Really? Going for a color theme apparently.

    • Alby Mangroves March 10, 2011 at 8:40 pm

      I applaud you for admitting that you like the story, it has become something akin to a hot potato right now, nobody admits to reading/liking/possibly buying it. At least not while logged in with their fandom name… LOL! Not having a go at you there btw, just saying. I read it when it was still on FFn, but then when the shit hit the fan with the “is-he-FFn-or-is-he-a-troll” fiasco where the story was deleted by an ‘FFn staffer’ due to the content following some bizarre communications with the author, I started to feel a little bit like it was all too blah. IDK, it was titillating and kinda fun for a while until I realised how rabid the minions were and then I had to walk away. Well that, and that fucking tampon. There were no words for that. Whatever, I’m not here to tell anyone else what they should be reading and how good/shite their choices are. Certainly, anyone that reads my stories has questionable taste/immunity to melodrama. My personal view on pubilshing reworked fanfiction is that it’s lazy. Good luck to the people that try it on. Now, go write something really original. Who knows, you might surprise yourself.

      • CQH Extraordinaire March 11, 2011 at 3:53 am

        i read the story a while back after much hype..before she started the second one. I found it to be good for fanfic, but not the best. Much like all the drama surrounding people scrambling to get The Office…one i read it I was like oh…thats it? I felt kinda let down. Besides, if you want to get into fucked-in-the-headwards with some realistic BDSM, may I suggest the red line? or if you are just hardcore into BDSM may i suggest one of the eleventy billion (haha quoted icy) other fics about domward?

        • Alby Mangroves March 11, 2011 at 5:07 am

          LOL, IC wat u did there πŸ˜‰ No, to be honest, I’m completely over the BDSM trend in fanfic and I hate starting to read something and then BAM! Surprise handcuffs and anal probe. IDK. I’m over it. Mostly I don’t ficdive at all anymore, I rely on recs from places like lion_lamb or Edwardville, or maybe from Twitter friends. I’m also thinking that it might be safer and far less drama to stick with vampfic as opposed to AH. Not much chance of that being pulled and repackaged as original work.

  11. BigTooL March 11, 2011 at 4:41 am

    OH HELL TO THE NO!

    I will never ever buy it NOPE! I only read the first part to see if it’s really that good. The truth is – NO IT’S NOT! It draggs! DRAGGS! and the second part only got worser (I read 2 first chapters) and she is getting p u b l i s h e d ? and it will be a t r i l o g y ? OH WOAH! Poor cheeps will waste a lot of money on it!

    and then the whole deal with *cough*Greywards*cough* sexual taste… was he a BDSM lover or not… I never got the answer. But

    life will go on!

    I am sorry that I missed the cry fest over at twitter, that is all

    • CQH Extraordinaire March 11, 2011 at 5:58 am

      On a whole seperate note here, when I was listening to the fangirlies squee over Fifty..(Chrifty?) all these hookers were going on and on about omg CANE ME.. I COULD TAKE IT. BITCH NO YOU CAN’T. Now I was young when this happened, but I’m sure some of you were a lot younger so perhaps I shall remind you all of Michael Fay, the teenage American boy who was caught vandalizing in Singapore and was sentanced to caning.. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_P._Fay) There was massive public outcry about this horrible atrocity. Here is a picture of what skin can look like after caning…be warned its BAD http://stash.norml.org/wp-content/uploads/caning2.jpg. The sick thing about this is now all these lonely women are trying to get hooked up with a Dom because they think Fifty is the bees knees. Fifty is just a controlling asshole with a light spanking fetish and too much money for toys. BDSM is a lot more violent, graphic and scary then the shit Icy is trying to sell her readers. I would go so far as to say she is putting her sheep at risk by letting them think this is what they can expect entering these situations.

      • vegetarianvamps March 11, 2011 at 7:39 am

        That comment is so true. BDSM, no matter all the times people say it’s ‘absolutely safe’ is nothing but abusive to me. Doms treat subs like slaves, telling them to crawl and do a shit load of humiliating things, and these girls find this hot? It’s worrying.

        Oh, and the best part? Doms do that because ‘they care’. Or so the BDSM (Icewhat’shername) slaves say.

      • Alby Mangroves March 11, 2011 at 7:51 am

        LOL @ Chrifty

  12. Sakes April 2, 2011 at 9:30 pm

    I’m confused here. why have a whole blog about something you DON’T like????? Are you serious????
    MOTU was a good story, the author has a unique way of writing, and maybe not every one will like it but a lot of people do. Nobody claimed it be Shakespeare literary so why analysis it as if it is You people sound like you’re 50 shades of jealous seriously. Get over yourselves.

    if you don’t like it, don’t buy. but don’t bash it, yes everyone is entitled to their own opinion but frankly some of your comments are offensive, calling the readers sheep, lonely and hookers. And in the world on BDSM, its between two consenting adults these girls agree to be treated like slaves and crawl on their knees, its want turns them on they’re there of their own free will. Stop making it sound like a perverse thing. Oh and the tampon scene was pretty original, unexpected and delivered the right amount of impact it was intended to, not more or less.

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